You put me in my Memaw’s house, needing to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She had a clock in the bathroom that ticked and it would guide me there in the dark. Well done.
Hey, thank you Steven! This line was a hiccup in hindsight - “He” is referring to John Paul, the narrator is just having recollecting thoughts about the last people he’d seen before he was put in this situation. He ran from John Paul quickly and didn’t attempt to save him - so he’s attempting to reckon with himself by saying “He’d (John Paul) understand”.
I did place this line poorly and it is resulting in a bit of confusion.
I understand. I figured that was what it was, but thought he would have understood at the time they passed the truck because the did it together. Cheers.
Wow, this was good! I can see why it was your favorite, goodness me... this is the sort of story you tell to a circle of people aloud in the dark, in the woods, in the snow... preferably around a campfire. You'd become a local legend within days.
This is absolutely incredible. I love the clock imagery and the losing track of your counting, simply haunting
Thank you so much for that 🖤
Read this imagining someone was reading aloud. Riveting!!
Damn, this was heavy for a monday morning. TO much to think about now.
Hah - I’ll take it as a compliment! Thank you for reading, Kanika!
You put me in my Memaw’s house, needing to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She had a clock in the bathroom that ticked and it would guide me there in the dark. Well done.
Ah, what a good compliment. Thank you, Joseph!
Wow. Great read, I could feel the tension pouring from your words!
Thank you Jakob!
Really enjoyed the read. Great job. One question though in this section
"That girl who drove the supplies up to us a day before, we saw her little Ford Ranger up the trail about two miles on its side.
Didn’t stop to check, we just went.
He’d understand. I think he would."
Who is the he? Or is it supposed to be the ford ranger driver?
Thanks for sharing your work.
Hey, thank you Steven! This line was a hiccup in hindsight - “He” is referring to John Paul, the narrator is just having recollecting thoughts about the last people he’d seen before he was put in this situation. He ran from John Paul quickly and didn’t attempt to save him - so he’s attempting to reckon with himself by saying “He’d (John Paul) understand”.
I did place this line poorly and it is resulting in a bit of confusion.
I understand. I figured that was what it was, but thought he would have understood at the time they passed the truck because the did it together. Cheers.
Wow, this was good! I can see why it was your favorite, goodness me... this is the sort of story you tell to a circle of people aloud in the dark, in the woods, in the snow... preferably around a campfire. You'd become a local legend within days.
This is so beautiful, well done, keep writing!
Phenomenal. I was uncomfortable the entire time.
Completely captivated the entire time. Incredible piece.
I placed myself in the story and could feel the sensations of it all. Awesome read. Really enjoyable.
Thank you so much for that Latoya :)